I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
