While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
