I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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