we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
