Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Farmville is her only friend.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
