why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
two words...techno handjob
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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