If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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