Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
