Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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