i can't believe i had my finger in that
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
