you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
