Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
