Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
