She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
