chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
