im holly from the hills drunk
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
