let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
