I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
