Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
