IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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