Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It's official drugs can't kill me
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
