I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
