ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Randomize
