put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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