Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
