how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
