We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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