Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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