I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
