So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
