is your mom at the bar?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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