Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
