I think I just saw someone hide a body.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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