I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
