I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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