the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize