Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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