Ambien. No doubt about it.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
