Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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