last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
you never un-have a 4some
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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