he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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