I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
