i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
