He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
