If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
