ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Randomize
