I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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