she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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