Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
