Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
