i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize