I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
3 2 1 whiskey
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
