so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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