I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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