True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
