Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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