Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
