just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
