I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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