i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
