I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
