my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
