Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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