So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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