Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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