Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
