I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
