Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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