nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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