dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
