went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
