if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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