Quick, to the slutcave!
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
