I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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