Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Randomize