WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
