That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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