Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
