I can tuck mytits in my pants
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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