I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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