i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
