getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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